Saturday, October 2, 2010

Staying Positive

I'm sitting here listening to Louise Hay talk about positive thinking and affirmations.  I try to listen to her CD whenever I think to.  Sometimes I find it soothing.  Other times, I find it completely frustrating and exhausting.  Why?  It's just a struggle at times.  It's like painting a clown face on when you feel like crying. 

And why?  Why am I so stressed and fearful?  I KNOW things will work out.  I KNOW things will be OK.  But in the meantime, I just, wow, struggle.  Like really really struggle.  I want to trust God.  I want to feel safe.  I want to feel and trust and believe that God will provide for me and keep me safe and bring good things into my life because I am His child.  And, yet, the days go by and I have headache after headache.  I find myself anxious, tense, tight, angry, and sad.

So, how do I grieve the losses in my life and yet feel serenity, peace, and trust?  How do I release the heavy weight I'm carrying about?  How do I regain that lightness in my step?



I have to say, I didn't expect or intend for this blog to be about processing my job loss and the other losses in my life.  I didn't expect to struggle with all of this so much.  But, life is funny that way. 

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