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Why Do Creatives Need Grace?
Extending
grace to yourself is essential to the creative life. Withholding grace and hanging onto guilt robs us of energy that we could use more creatively elsewhere.
Refusing to forgive, or extend grace, keeps us
anchored to the past, which makes it difficult to move forward.
grace
–noun
1.
elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action.
2.
a pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.
3.
favor or good will.
The Christian
teaching is that grace is "unmerited mercy that God gave to us by sending
his son to die on a cross to give us eternal salvation."
Hindu
devotional literature is full of references to grace (kripa) as "the
ultimate key required for spiritual self-realization."
According
to Islam, "Paradise is something of immense value; a person cannot earn
it by virtue of his deeds alone, but by the Grace and Mercy of Allah."
In Judaism,
the Hebrew word signifying "grace" is חסד cheçedh. It can range
in meaning from zeal, love, kindness, benevolence, to grace, favour, loyalty, mercy,
and even piety or beauty.
A leading
Buddhist teacher, Lama Surya Das, and author of Awakening the Buddha Within, says, “Grace is the “isness’
of life. It’s the recognition that everything is connected and sacred. The more
in touch we are with this natural abundance of life, the less we need.”
Perhaps you
have heard grace explained like this:
Grace =
receiving something good that you do not deserve
Grace goes
hand in hand with mercy:
Mercy = not
receiving something bad that you do deserve
Grace is something
we all need - both from ourselves and from the people around us. As much as disappointment is a fact of life, grace
should also be a fact of life.
How many times
have you disappointed yourself or someone else?
How many times broken your own commitments and promises? I have exceeded my fingers and toes. And rather than punishing myself or beating myself
up for these things, I have decided to be gracious with myself and allow myself
a bit of undeserved mercy.
This can be
extended outwards as well. Who has disappointed
you? Who has broken their commitments or
promises? When will you allow them a bit
of undeserved mercy?
To me, grace
is giving a new beginning - to myself, to a friend, to a stranger.
The Process of Grace
1. Acknowledge
what you're doing -- that you're holding onto old anger, hurt, resentment, and perhaps
trying to punish yourself, feel sorry for yourself or create an excuse not to move
forward in your life.
2. Express your
feelings. Often, we hold onto negative feelings because we don't feel heard.
Have a conversation with yourself in your imagination or in writing acknowledging
how you feel and why. You can also talk to a trusted friend or a counselor, so that
you feel heard.
3. Look at the
situation from a different point of view. Why would you have chosen
to disappoint yourself? You may be surprised at some of the insights that can surface
with this step that will make forgiving yourself much easier. We're all flawed humans
doing the best we can at the time.
4. Be willing
to let go. This step is important to all types of healing. We may do tons of
work in therapy or workshops, but to truly be done with it, we must at some point
actively choose to let go and put it behind us. Be honest about this one. If you're
not ready to truly let go, you may need to repeat the earlier steps (or the whole
process) a few times first.
5. Forgive. This may
simply saying, "I forgive you."
You may want to perform some sort of actual or meditative ritual of release
such as
- write "I forgive myself for doing (or not doing) such-and-such" on a piece of paper, visualize yourself releasing the wrong-doing, then tear up the paper and burn it.
- literally or meditatively draw a line, step over it and say, "I forgive; I am done with this." create a ritual of your own.
7. Use that energy to move
forward with new projects!
Share these steps with a creative
friend or colleague and help them to move forward!
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