What Do You Say When Life Knocks You Speechless?

Gosh, I really wish I knew how to answer that.  Life can be so complex and yet does it really need to be?  People's words and actions can fly so quickly and loosely and thoughtlessly.  They can cause so much pain, intentionally or not. My heart is reeling with the pain of the recent shooting in Orlando.  I wish I knew the words to say. I wish I could speak words of comfort and healing but they escape me.

Mining the Past

I struggled this week with a blog topic.  There are thousands of things to write about, no doubt, but this is a rather painful week for me each year.  This day 12 years ago, my sister died in a terrible car accident up in Vermont.  She left behind her wonderful partner and her 8 month old baby boy, my godson and one of the joys of my life.

Writer Wednesday: But I Don't Feel Ready!

Fake It til You Make It (Or how to start anyways)

According to the Urban Dictionary, the phrase “Fake It til You Make It” means:  to act like you are something so you can, in fact, become that thing.

James Clear has a great story on his blog about starting before you feel ready.  Which, in my mind, is another way of saying “Fake It til You Make It”.

Photo Friday: Heart in Hands

My heart is in my hands, and I offer it to you.

Click here to purchase image.

I had other plans for a Valentine's Day post.  Like, 10 Things I Love about Photography or some such thing.  But, instead, my heart is in my hands.

Someone I love may be dying and it hurts... a lot.  And now my heart and mind are elsewhere - as they should be.  (Update 3/22/15  She is yo-yo-ing a bit with recoveries and setbacks.  Please continue to pray for her.)

Dirty Underwear and Other Things

Some people like to be clean - like really clean. As in two showers a day kind of clean. I'm not sure why you would need two showers a day unless you sweat a lot or roll in mud puddles, but there could be worse habits to have...like wearing dirty underwear.

If you were raised in a particular era, your mother probably told you to wear clean underwear in case you were in an accident. Really?  Do you think they will be worried about my underwear if I'm in an accident?  But, I guess the message was more to be sure to wear clean underwear.

Stealing Time

I'm currently reading two different books by Julia Cameron - The Artist's Way and The Right to Write.  Yes, in addition to photography, I like to write and am beginning to explore some options in that area.

So, what does this have to do with stealing time?  We always think that when we have a big goal we need a big block of time.  Let's say, for instance, I wanted to write a book.  I may think I need to wait until I was retired or had a sabbatical or a few months off.  However, that's too long to wait!  What if I never get that big block of time?  Does that mean my dream is permanently derailed?

Who Made the Rules, Anyways?

I wonder that a lot lately.  Much that I had expected to work out in my life and to make me happy and content hasn't quite worked out that way.  Here are some examples of "rules" I've attempted to follow:

• Thou shall post to your blog on a regular basis in order to maintain and increase your readership.
• Thou shall always be loving and kind and never resent a teenager.
• Thou shall work a full time job come high water, poor health, or exhaustion.
• Thou shall always remain positive no matter what happens and constantly seek the "sunny side of the street"
• Thou shall have "an attitude of gratitude"

WIFM?

Ever heard that before?  WIFM?  What's in it for me?  It's a good question to ask about what you yourself are offering another person.  But not from your own perspective - from theirs.

What's in it for me?

I'm trying to write a blog.  So, I take the perspective of the reader and ask "What's In It For Me?"  In other words, what am I offering to you the reader that is of value to you.  When I ask that lately, I have no good answer.  I'm not really offering much but random thoughts and an occasional pretty picture.  So, really, why would you bother coming here?

In Praise of Simple Things

It's not often that I find an ad or piece of propaganda inspiring.  But, today I did.  Today Facebook put up a video that "honor[s] the everyday things that people make to get together and connect."  And most of the video was about chairs.  It was really quite clever and I might even say beautiful.

How often do we forget about the simple and beautiful things in our lives like a chair?  Or a glass to hold cold water.  Or the dish that holds our food.  Or the shoes that keep our feet warm and protected.  Or even the hot water that comes out of the shower when we turn it on.

I want to remember these little things and be grateful.  There is so much to be grateful for.  I hope to catch and remember some of these simple pleasures and blessings in capture them in my Project 365.

What simple things are you grateful for that you often overlook?

What a Shame!

"What a shame to waste what God has given us."  This sentence sang out to me brilliantly from the page as I read my daily devotional Your Best Life Begins Each Morning by Joel Osteen.  He was talking about wasting time in life being bitter about the past.  I was thinking about talents and skills and what we have to share with the world that God has bestowed upon us.

Some of you might be ready to click off the page right now.  Hey, I didn't know this blog was going to be all religious and stuff.  I didn't sign up for this.  It's not what I want to read about.  Don't worry, it won't be all that.

You see, I believe that creativity - the act of creating - is completely entwined with a Higher Being, in my case, God.  You may call Him by another name.  You may envision your Higher Being as a She.  God is bigger than all of that and bigger than all our definitions and limited understandings of Him.  Anyways, back to the point.

We are all given the gift of a day every morning when we wake up.  How we choose to spend it is up to us.  But, what a shame to waste that gift.  Grab on and give it your best.  You'll be glad you did!!

Being Found

Today I listened to a webinar about being found.  Who doesn't want to be found?  I mean, it means someone was looking for you!  Isn't that a great feeling?  Being sought after?  It gives you a sense of value and worth and recognition.

The webinar I listened to was specifically about being found on Linked In during a job search.  (Want to see my profile?  Click here!)

I listened to this webinar for a few different reasons.  One, I happen to be looking for a day job that helps me live and work my passions and pay the bills so I can continue my photography.  Two, one of my passions is being a job coach and this was an excellent set of tools that could be used in a job search.  Three, it also can help me get exposure for my blog and for my website.  Yes!  I have a website!  You didn't know?  Check it out!  www.theresekayphotography.com

What did I learn and why am I sharing it on a blog about photography?  OK, so here goes my line of logic.  Photography requires creativity.  Creativity requires risk-taking.  Taking a risk is hard and scary.  Putting yourself out there to be found is a risk and is scary.  So, therefore, being found is part of photography - especially if you are wanting to make it a business!

So here is the scary part.  What happens if you are found?  What happens if someone says, hey, I think that person or that person's skills, or that person's art is what I've been looking for.  And, suddenly, you are in a spotlight...big or small.  And people are looking at you and your skills and your art.

And you get scared.  What if you disappoint the person?  What if the person thinks you're a fraud (or discovers that you are a fraud - even if you're really not - you know what I'm talking about here, right?)  What if so many people find me I can't keep up?

And then there's the other fear.  What if I put myself out there and nobody wants me?  What if I think what I created is beautiful and everyone else thinks its hideous?  What then?

All these fears are valid and need to be addressed.  Journaling, talking with friends, counseling, prayer, and positive self-talk are all tools that you can use to address those fears.  Believing in yourself and in the work you are creating is paramount to your success.

Here are a few strategies that I was exposed to (and am still learning about) during this webinar.

• Being found online, whether on Linked In or otherwise, is only a stepping-stone to face-to-face or other more personal interaction.
• Have lots of connections both in and out of your industry.
• Have connections with other people who have lots of connections (On Linked-In, you have access to the third level of your connections so this can be exponential!)
• Be sure you are using appropriate key words on your website, your profiles, your blogs, etc. 
• Listen!  What are other people in your industry doing and talking about?  Are you participating in the discussion?
• Create a personal brand!  Who are you?  Your resume lists your skills but not your passions and enthusiasm.
• Create a call to action.  (What's a call to action?  Simply put: including a call to action means asking your reader to do something. Check out http://www.kinesisinc.com/marketing/use-a-strong-call-to-action-to-generate-more-leads/ which is where I've started to learn more about it myself.)
• And, get lots of links back to your own website.  This is called SEO - search engine optimization.  I'm definitely still learning about this and am very open to suggestions and ideas.
• IMPLEMENT!!!  So easy to gather ideas, ideas, and more ideas and never do a thing.  Anyone out there use Pinterest?  Yeah?  So you know exactly what I mean!

What are you doing to be found?  I would love to hear some ideas!  And how are you dealing with your fears of being found?  Please share in the comments!  (See, a call to action!!)  If you like what you read here, share it with others!  (Look!  Another call to action!!)

Word Clouds

I discovered word clouds today.  How cool!  I've seen them before, but never really completely understood their use other than aesthetics.  Enter stage right: a junk email advertising how to maximize your use of Linked-In as a job search tool.

Well, having been a former job coach and currently looking for my next day job, I took a peek.  And what did I discover but word clouds.

You may still be wondering what a word cloud is.  Basically, you input text and the program will analyze the text and spit out the key words randomly.  However the key words are weighted by size.  The bigger the word, the more times you used it.

How does it apply to a job search?  Well, input your resume - get your word cloud visually detailing how you described yourself in your resume?  Is that the way you WANT to describe yourself?  Did you really mean to say belligerent 3 times and have it so prominent in your word cloud?  (Ha!  Just kidding.)  Now you can do the same thing with your Linked In Profile.  And then you can do the same thing with your target job description or target company.  How do they match up and what can you adjust?

So, fiddling about, I decided to try it with my blog.  Yes!  You can do it with a blog as well.  Below are my results...

Now, as my readers, I begin to wonder if this is what you want to read about when you come to my page.  Is it?  Do you want to read about these things?  Or were you wanting to read more about photography and the creative process?  Yes, I write this blog for myself somewhat, but really, I write it for you, my audience.  So, tell me, what would you like to hear more about?

By the way, want to try creating your own word cloud?  Check out http://www.wordle.net.  It's cool and I can imagine all kinds of possibilities!  Have fun!

Building from the Past

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post entitled Memory Lane.  In that blog I discussed creating a timeline of your life and then listed some questions you could ask yourself about that timeline in order to learn and grow.  

My heart was warmed this morning when a prior participant posted the following on their FaceBook page:  "living in the now ... Only bring the past if you are going to build from it!"  Exactly!!

And I am still learning that.  I think we all are!  It's so easy to get stuck in the past and stay there or be held back by it.  I think it's come clear to you readers throughout my blog that I have a pack-ratty tendency.  Those who know me well are saying in exaggerated mock surprise "No!!!!  Really???"  OK, OK, I get it!

Part of that pack-ratty tendency is a way of clinging to the past.  I never really thought about it that way, until I started reading a book called "Organize for a Fresh Start: Embrace Your Next Chapter in Life", by Susan Fay West.  So far this is an excellent book!  There is one quote from it that really struck me.  (OK, actually there are several and I'm not done with the book yet, but I'm only sharing one!)  

"Who are you becoming?  What is this new chapter going to be about - and, therefore, which of your belongings will you carry forward?  Surrounding yourself with things that support your move forward, rather than drag you down, or keep you in the past, is key."

Wow, makes me think about my belongings in a whole new way.  Are the things I have and keep and surround myself with things that are going to help push me forward in my life and help me grow or are they things that are going to hold me back and keep me stuck?  Or are they just in the way because they are no longer useful in the life that I envision for myself?

I always thought of preparing for the future in terms of habits and thoughts and actions, but never thought much about things.  Hmmm....  It's eye-opening to me.  

So, now, I need to look at my things and ask "What is helping me to live in the now, like my sweet friend?  What is helping me build a bridge from my past to my future?  And what is in the way?"

Let's pare it down and own less!  After a long and painful move from one household to another, and having pared down and pared down and pared down some more, I see that I still have a long way to go.

Click here to purchase.

What about you?  What are you bringing forward from your past?  Is it something you can build on or is it something that is getting in your way?

Need some Bible back up?  Check out Hebrews 12:1.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Compared to Whom?

We all do it.  We all compare ourselves to others, and usually the best version of others.  Leah Remillet over at http://www.go4prophotos.com really stated it quite well.  And I don't think I could do it better.  So, check out her post and remember you are who you are and who you need to be!!   Embrace it!

http://www.go4prophotos.com/inspiration/get-out-of-the-comparison-funk/

Memory Lane

Ah, memories!  They can be great!  They can also be sad or painful.  But, no matter what the memory is, something can be learned.

Photography is one way that helps me capture moments and memories - especially happy ones.  I have taken some very sad photographs as well that document painful times - but those, I have to say, are very rare.

I used to teach a Ready to Work program for long-term unemployed, under-employed, and homeless individuals.  By far, this was one of the most rewarding jobs I've ever had.  One of the exercises we did during the first week, I think, was one of the most powerful - and we built from it for the rest of the time we spent together.

I had each of them make a timeline of their life.  They didn't have to use words.  They could use symbols or pictures.  They didn't have to share.  This was for them.  Some people were resistant.  You can imagine, if you were homeless, not all of your memories are of the pleasant variety.

Now, as an instructor, I couldn't be exempt.  I participated as well and was the first to share.  I shared about not only the good things, like graduating from college or getting my first camera, but also my first failed photo shoot and how embarrassed I was, and deaths in my family.

Then I followed up with a series of questions as they looked at their timeline.  This was not a sharing time, but a reflecting time.  It went along something like this:

"Look at your timeline.  Like me, you probably have some good times and some bad times.  But, here you are.  You got through them.  What led to the good times?  What was it about those times that were good?  Do you have any of those things in your life now?  What strengths did you exhibit during those good times?  Now, look at the bad times.  You survived.  What got you through?  What strengths did you draw on?  What supports did you use?  And look at the pattern of what you found to be 'good' memories...is there a common thread?  What about the 'bad' memories?  Think about what you left out.  Is there a reason you left them out?  Look at what you included.  Is there a reason those memories stand out to you more than others?"

I'm sure there were other questions I asked as well, but you can see how this went.  I was helping them to mine for gold.  Ruminating on the past and pining for the good old times or regretting what has happened can get you pretty stuck in the past and not moving forward.  You end up digging in the dirt and just getting dirty.  But, there's treasure to be found there!  Look for that treasure!  You will find it, and you will certainly be richer for it.

Here is a related post I found on Facebook: The Power of Utilization by Maureen | on September 9, 2012.  I read this post a few times to get it to really sink in.  You should read it too.  What did I learn from this post?  I learned that you can take moments in your past (good or bad) and make them mean something else.  You can take a frustrating moment in time and make it become a learning experience or something you can use as a stepping stone.

On the Fence

Decide whether you're going to sit on the fence and watch, or participate and reach for greatness.
It's your life, and your choice.

Be Who You Are

By now you all know, I like reading various blogs.  I'm not a faithful follower of many - there are just so many out there that I like and only so many hours a day.

Anyways, one of the ones I enjoy is Crazy Aunt Purl.  It's about knitting and life and I find it amusing even though I don't knit.  On May 18th, she was writing about a Langston Hughes poem she was reading and concluded with this sentence: "Write what you must, say what you can, be who you are. "  Of course, I need to adapt it a bit "Photograph what you must....."

Often, the creative muse inside of us is trying to communicate and we feel compelled to write or create something specific.  I've had that quite a bit.  And it's important to follow those inner promptings.  It's part of the process of saying what we can and being who we are.  It's not easy sometimes.  Some of the images I create like this I show to people and others I don't.  Some people will understand what I photographed and why and others won't.  But it is so important to be true to yourself.

Remember the candle I was going to light to find some insight on my life and how to use my new office and creation space best?  Well, I was hoping for some deep insight.  I was hoping for some magical revelation that once found would help me solve all my problems.  Guess what I got.  I got "you're a hoarder".  LOL.  Not really.  What I got is that I'm indecisive and that I'm afraid to let go of options.  What I got is that I need to be like a horse with blinders and stay on the straight and narrow.  And I also realized that for me, it is going to be a process that I need to repeat on a fairly regular basis.

So, I've chosen 5 hobbies/crafts for which I want to keep supplies.  It should be four, when I'm really honest with myself, but I'm not ready to part with the other one yet.  In time, in time.  So, I filled a trash bag with things I knew I couldn't pass along to anyone and I've made yet another pile of things to pass on.  I hope by minimizing the distractions of hobbies I no longer pursue or enjoy, that it will allow me to focus my energy on those things I do want to pursue.  And this carries over to the work I'll be doing as well since this one room will be serving multiple purposes.

I recognize that part of who I am is an eclectic magpie and that's OK.  I also know that I want to photograph and say what I must, and in order to do that, I need to have lots of space and little distraction for the creation to happen.

So, I encourage you, to write, photograph, create what you must, say or sing what you can, be who you are and enjoy it!!  Just remember to make the space for it!

Click here to purchase.

Light a Candle

Cheryl Richardson is one of my inspirations.  This evening, I discovered her channel on YouTube.  Some really great stuff, for sure.  (The link is below - be sure to check it out!)

This particular video caught my attention.  First, by its title: "The Hidden Problem with Clutter."  Those of you who know me, know that it is something I struggle with.  The recent move from Salem to Lynn (which is still in progress, believe it or not) has really emphasized this.  I have a lot of stuff.

Most Embarrassing Moment

We've all had one.  I have one that I don't tell many people.  And I'm not going to tell that one here.  But, I will tell you one.  Why?  Because we've all had them.  Right?

Getting It Done

Sometimes you just need to do it.  No matter how awful and unpleasant it is.

I move tomorrow.  It seems like the house is only half packed (that in fact might be true!).  And we've had a heat wave the past two days.  Last night I finally just threw myself sat down on my couch and cried.  I just want it over and this is the most disorganized move I've ever had.  Ever.

My fiancee (Yes!  It's true!) walked in and was like, "Umm... are you OK?"  (Poor guy.  What do you say to a sobbing overwhelmed woman melting down on your couch in the middle of a heatwave?)

I yelled "No!  I'm hot and tired and frustrated and I'm a failure at packing!  I'm going to lose important papers and it's a mess and it's awful and I'm stressed out and I hate it.  I hate that I have too much stuff.  I hate it!!!!!"  Well, something like that, but I really did say I'm a failure at packing.  Yeah, I really said that.  I guess my last day at work on Tuesday had nothing to do with the dip in self-confidence.  Nor the heatwave. Nor the absolute chaos surrounding me.

You know what he said?  "Well, we move on Saturday.  And it'll get done.  It might be messy, but it'll happen.  And if some stuff gets left behind, we can come back and get it.  It's OK."  (I'm paraphrasing a bit, but you get the idea.)

I knew there was a reason I agreed to marry this man.  It'll get done.  It might be messy, but it'll happen.  Ah, words of wisdom.  And so life goes, messy as it might be.

So, just get it done.  Messy or not, it'll happen.